Building Self-Esteem

Self esteem, a topic of frequent discussion and concern for parents and educators, reflects individuals’ feelings about their own self worth and confidence to cope with challenges. Children with low self-esteem don’t feel confident about their abilities to face new circumstances, whereas children with positive self-esteem are more likely to take healthy risks and be more willing to try new things.

Self-esteem is developed over time. It is influenced by a combination of factors including genetics, parental interaction, and environment. Self esteem may fluctuate throughout stages of a child’s development and into adulthood. It is important to note that some children with low self-esteem have acquired healthy self esteem along their journeys into adulthood.
Here are some suggestions to help promote healthy self-esteem in your children.

Spend Quality Time With Your Children. Quantity and quality don’t necessarily go hand in hand. Spending quality one-on-one time with a child will help reinforce his/her sense of self-worth, as it demonstrates to the child that he/she is a priority and well worth your efforts. Time together can be as little as 5 to 10 minutes; what is important is that during that time, you are one hundred percent focused on your child.

Provide Your Child With Choices. Giving children the opportunity to make acceptable choices beginning at a young age helps them feel confident in their abilities to make smart decisions.

Praise Sharing. Sharing helps children feel good about themselves because it shows them that they have the ability to impact others in a positive way.

Offer Encouragement. It is important to encourage and acknowledge a child’s efforts to attempt and/or successfully complete a task. For example, saying “You can do it” may be just what your child needs to hear so that he/she can try to complete a challenging homework assignment.

Avoid Being Harsh or Sarcastic While Offering Criticism. Harshness and sarcasm do not promote healthy self-esteem. Constructive criticism, however, that is focused on the child’s behavior, not the child, creates a safe atmosphere where a child feels more comfortable to take safe risks even though he/she may not have succeeded.

Provide Opportunities For Your Child to Contribute To Household Chores. Doing age-appropriate chores helps children learn responsibility, teamwork and the importance of being part of something greater than oneself.

Role Model Problem Solving Skills. It is important for children to see that the adults in their lives make mistakes, react appropriately and move on. Children will learn from watching you go through the process of acknowledging your own mistakes and then role modeling the resilience necessary to either try again or accept failure. Having healthy self-esteem does not mean that one always achieves success. Rather, having healthy self esteem allows one to successfully tolerate failure.