Google “College Admissions Blog” and you will find endless links to advice on parenting through the college application process. Suggestions range from active involvement in shaping the child’s resume beginning as early as eighth grade, to a completely hands-off approach where the child chooses which schools to apply to without parental input or even knowledge. Neither of these approaches, seemingly representing the extremes of parental involvement or the lack thereof, is necessarily wrong. Each family is different, and even within a family, each child is unique and may require a different approach to the college application process.
There are some ideas you should keep in mind as your child applies to college no matter where you fall on the spectrum of parental participation:
Support your child, but do not overstep. Maybe you are that parent who consulted with a college advisor when your child was in eighth grade, but he is older now, nearly ready to move out of your home. Be a sounding board, discuss options, finances, and deadlines. But do not write essays, contact admissions offices, or fill out applications. Your child must do all of those things on his own. And if he can’t, he must learn now – better late than never!
There are over 5,000 colleges in the United States. There will be more than one “right fit” for each student. Specialized majors, research facilities, and athletics can all be found at more than one institution. Whether your child dreams of attending a large state university, a small liberal arts college in a rural environment, or a medium sized school in the middle of a city, there is more than one place that fits the bill.
The best school your child can get into (based on U.S. News rankings) is not necessarily the best school for your child. Don’t get caught up in the name game. Prestige does not insure happiness – or even academic success.
Your child may not be accepted to his first choice school, or maybe even his second or third choice. Remember, and most importantly, remind your child, that the rejection is not a comment on his value as a person. It most likely means that he is one of thousands of qualified applicants who was unlucky.
Do not let the college application process takeover your home or your relationship with your child. Eighteen years have flown by and you won’t get another chance to experience this last year before your child leaves your home. Enjoy it!
